Beauty Upkeep: The Ellen Barkin Plan

What she tried once and will never, ever do again: "Botox. I don't like the way it makes people look. Too many people go overboard, and for an actress, that's deadly. It keeps you from being able to have expressions. Some actresses who used to have a beautiful smile have this weird kind of oval thing they do with their mouths instead. They can't frown anymore, either. They look like they've lost their minds."

Why she hasn't had a facelift: "I didn't get my nose fixed; my whole face is crooked. Any plastic surgeon would look at me and try to even it out, and to do that he'd have to change everything, straighten my nose, make my eyes rounder. I don't want to do that!"

What she would like to have if she knew how to get it: "Just a tighter version of my face."

One of the ways she's trying to get it now: "Thermage [a radiofrequency treatment that's used to tighten skin and encourage the growth of collagen]. I've been having it three times a year for the past three years."

What she thinks it's doing for her: "Really, I don't know. And it's painful—like burning-hot elastic bands snapping against my face. But I keep doing it."

Wait, there's more: "I also have Fraxel [a laser treatment that's used to improve skin texture]. It doesn't hurt, there's hardly any downtime, and I've seen a huge difference in my skin."

Oh, and more: "And every time I have Fraxel, I also have a peel."

Oops, and more: "I've used a filler. But I have it done only here and there, not all over my face. People are having fillers injected into their jaws; they look like squirrels."

So that's it, right? "For now. I'd never say I'll never have a facelift, but I'm way too scared of looking like a different person. I have no philosophical or political position on plastic surgery; I just don't want to look crazy. And I don't like not being able to tell how old someone is: It's creepy."