How Do You Get Your Daughter to Talk with You?
Show Her You're Human Too
![Elizabeth with young girl Elizabeth with young girl](https://static.oprah.com/images/spirit/201004/20100421-Elizabeth-Berkley-one-on-one-300x205.jpg)
Photo: Courtesy of Elizabeth Berkley
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Obviously there are certain things that aren't appropriate for your daughter to know about you, but so many girls have shared that seeing the human side of their mothers comforts them and creates a beautiful intimacy they treasure. Allowing your daughter to know some of your own vulnerabilities, insecurities or challenges doesn't diminish your role as an authority figure. In fact, our girls say it's what allows them to have even more empathy and respect for their mothers and how they've handled situations.
Here's proof, straight from the girls themselves:
"My mom says she understands what I'm going through, but how? If she shared her past stories with me, I'd see the connection." — Claire, age 18
"My mom admits when she makes mistakes and that she is always working to become a better person. That makes it easy to talk to her. I would advise any mom not to play the 'I'm the parent and I'm all-knowing' card." — Jillian, age 15
"I think my mom tried so hard to be the perfect role model all the time that the shoes were too big to fill. I thought that I'd disappoint her if I made mistakes, so I showed her the best version of my life, not necessarily the accurate picture. In recent years, my mom has become more comfortable showing me the real side of her, and I, in turn, have too. We bonded the most by being honest." — Bethany, age 16
Next: Stay calm
Here's proof, straight from the girls themselves:
"My mom says she understands what I'm going through, but how? If she shared her past stories with me, I'd see the connection." — Claire, age 18
"My mom admits when she makes mistakes and that she is always working to become a better person. That makes it easy to talk to her. I would advise any mom not to play the 'I'm the parent and I'm all-knowing' card." — Jillian, age 15
"I think my mom tried so hard to be the perfect role model all the time that the shoes were too big to fill. I thought that I'd disappoint her if I made mistakes, so I showed her the best version of my life, not necessarily the accurate picture. In recent years, my mom has become more comfortable showing me the real side of her, and I, in turn, have too. We bonded the most by being honest." — Bethany, age 16
Next: Stay calm