The road to unrealized dreams is paved with good exceptions. We are all guilty of taking this path at one time or another. All the things we want to do, set out to accomplish, mean to fix ... except ...

I really want to get out of this job and start that little catering business. I think it would do well. Except what if I'm making a mistake? Except I can't find the time to look for a space and set it all up, and I would have to dip into some of my savings. Except, while I'm not happy in this job, it does give me security, another twenty years and my pension kicks in. Except. Except. Except.

Accept the fact you only have one life to live, and if you don't take a stab at your dreams, you will always live in regret. Accept the fact you may have to juggle two jobs and some extra responsibility for a while but if the payoff is doing the work you love and being your own boss, it's a small price to pay. Accept the fact that your fear-based thinking has only held you back.

Many people end up spending their lives in the black hole of exeptions because it's often easier and less scary than actually accepting the situation for what it is. Accepting your role as the writer, director, and producer of the failed parts of your life story is a powerful path to real change.

Yes, there will be circumstances out of your control. Yes, sometimes the universe sends a season or two of tornadoes your way. But in the average life, we end up excepting far more than we end up accepting.

Once you accept things for what they are and really own them and take stock of how they are affecting your life and happiness, you have little choice but to change them and move forward.

1. Make a list of all your unrealized goals. How many are a direct result of your fear-based thinking? How many "excepts" do you use as an excuse for not following through and how is this impacting your life and the lives of those around you?

2. Accept the fact that you are responsible for the inaction that is a result of this.

3. Realistically assess your abilities. What are you actually capable of? A proper inventory of your talents will allow you to separate fact from fable. Do you have the ability to deliver the dream you seek?

You won't have all the answers at first. At some point you'll have to trust. And move forward. Sometimes just moving in any direction, even if it's not exactly where you want to go, will at least get you going. And you might just end up exactly where you are supposed to be.

Accept in the Other Direction

While we must accept our own realities and not live out the fictionalized version of our lives and personalities, we must also take accept and send it in the other direction: toward others.

How many people in your life, from parents, spouses, children, and friends, drive you either silently or loudly crazy?

How hard is it for you to accept everything from the personality quirks to the downright unacceptable behavior traits of others?

How often in the name of either peace or years of habit have you excepted and not accepted others?

What price have you paid for this?

Mom would be much nicer to me, except she had a tough childhood: Her mom was never there for her, and her dad was unable to express emotions. Her disregard for my feelings and oftentimes hurtful behavior can be attributed to this. But while you are ladling up the excepts, are you stuffing your own feelings and shoving your needs to the very bottom of your emotional drawer? And what is this action costing you? Are you resentful, full of rage and sadness that weaves its way into the other corners of your life?

We are all faced with people whose behavior we have no control over. If we let it, it can color our world dark and murky. It can ruin days, years, and lives if we let it. In these situations we have to move to the place of "accept." We have to drop the "except" and accept people for who they are, and that means who they aren't as well.

The "Everybody has a bad day" mantra can give you a moment or two to allow the "This relationship is OVER if you don't change" train of thought to roll by. Allow a little time for the dust to settle and then reassess the situation. If you decide to stay, the housecleaning may be extensive and may include a fair amount of your own debris. The "It's a wonder I'm not a sniper with you as my parents" thought needs to be replaced with the realization that we're all, for the most part, raised by amateurs. Forgive them and end the advertising campaign that requires you to share with everyone you know how screwed-up your childhood was. The time saved can be used constructively to make new friends to replace the old ones you bored to death with your endless complaints.

Often in accepting the imperfections of others we can forgive their emotional and behavioral failings at the same time. We can accept that there are people and things over which we have no control and then, if we desire, we can hand it over to our higher power.

Sometimes this is impossible. Some people are just too much to tolerate and fall into the "Life's Too Short" category. There are many who are not going to change unless they want to make that leap.

But even in the face of that, you change by dropping "except."

You change by adapting the position of "accept."

And in the accepting, you forgive, then decide if you are capable of carrying on a relationship with this person. Hauling around a sack of resentment does nothing but slow you down and bleed negativity into the vital organs of your life.

You can walk away. You can make that choice. But not before you accept.

And sometimes with the "accept" we suddenly find ourselves deep in the land of empathy for the other person.

We might not be able to take on their pain or excuse them for it, but we can become more understanding and sympathetic of their weaknesses. In the end, once we accept, we move forward from a position of strength and/or compassion.