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Though Lisa Marie says her marriage to Michael Jackson was real, she also admits that Michael was a master at manipulating the media.

"He was brought up that way," she says. "He was conditioned to get himself where he needed to go for his career, and he became very good at making and creating and puppeteering."

Look back at Michael Jackson's life in photos.

These manipulations made Lisa Marie question Michael's love for her at the time. "I always confused that manipulation thinking that it meant he didn't love me," she says. "But I understand it better now. The manipulation was a survival tactic for him."

Lisa Marie says any bitterness she held onto after their relationship ended gave way to clarity and understanding upon Michael's death—along with a flood of emotions.

The day after Michael died, Lisa Marie expressed how she felt about his death and her perceived role in it on her blog. She wrote: "The person I failed to help is being transferred right now to the L.A. County Coroner's office for his autopsy. All my indifference and detachment that I worked so hard to achieve over the years has just gone into the bowels of hell, and right now, I am gutted."

Read the rest of Lisa Marie's blog about Michael Jackson.

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